8 Lessons from our Cross-Continental Adventure

I published this article in English at The Gospel Coalition Canada and in French at TPSG.

This summer,  Dan, the girls, and I spent 9 weeks camping across North America. As full-time missionaries, we set out from Montreal to visit churches and ministry partners scattered throughout the United States. We usually slept in our 21-foot trailer camper in our hosts’ driveway. We also reserved a few nights at campgrounds or RV parks. Our stays ranged from one to four nights in a city. We saw over 50 families. And we covered over 7,500 miles across 2 provinces, 16 states and 3 countries (thanks to a quick dental check-up in Tijuana, Mexico). Along the way, the Lord allowed us to learn 8 invaluable lessons:

1. Fueling up frequently is essential

Early on in our trip, we rolled into a gas station in the middle of the Texas desert with 8 miles left in the tank. The Lord showed us such mercy in preventing us from getting stranded on the side of the highway. We didn’t take that lesson for granted. From that point on, we filled up well before the empty tank symbol appeared on the dashboard. 

2. Spiritual refreshment is also essential

Life on the road can make it difficult to maintain a normal routine. Accustomed to extended times of daily Bible study and prayer, I found my briefer, simpler devotions less satisfying at times. I longed for the hours of quiet study and reflection. But the chapter or two of Bible reading here and there nourished my soul and sustained me nevertheless. I knew I’d get back to my routine soon enough. In the meantime, I accepted my limitations and enjoyed moments with God when time allowed. 

3. Travelling as a family is a sanctification laboratory

The four of us lived nearly every waking moment together for over two months. Some days, we’d spend 8 hours or more on the road across long stretches of the U.S.  Privacy and solitude were scarce commodities. If Dan and I needed to discuss a matter we disagreed about, we’d give the girls screen time. Hooray for noise-cancelling headphones! Sometimes, our differences arose spontaneously before we could take such measures. Our daughters got to witness how we resolve conflict in real time. We hope that it taught them what to do (or not do!) as they handle relational challenges of their own.

4. Hospitality is a two-way street

I once heard a friend describe visitors as “light as a feather.” I pictured house guests who were simple, grateful, and helpful. That imagery guided us as we made our way from one home to the next. Several of our hosts prepared delicious meals for us or took us out to their favourite restaurant. And when time allowed, I prepared a Senegalese meal or demonstrated how to make my foolproof no-knead artisan loaf. For one friend who hates to cook, I batch-cooked large quantities of food she could just defrost and serve. We even had a couple of families over for meals at our campsite. On one such occasion, we found ourselves suddenly surrounded by a colony of wasps. This forced all 8 of us to cram into a camper that seats 4! At the time, it felt like a hospitality fail, yet what mattered most was the company, and we had some great laughs and made memories anyway.

Chicken Mafe

5. It’s important to talk about taboo subjects

Many of our supporters and relatives are my age. As a result, they’re experiencing a lot of the same realities that I am. The most significant one among women is perimenopause, with all its undesirable symptoms. Everywhere I went, I broached this subject precisely because it’s one fraught with confusion and frustration. And I believe this is far more than a woman’s health issue; it’s a pastoral issue. Because when one part of the body suffers, we all suffer. The more we understand and support women through this period of life, the more they will flourish and serve their families and the body of Christ. 

6. It’s ok to be different

We came in contact with a diversity of families on this trip. We witnessed different regional and cultural practices, parenting styles, and convictions on secondary matters. And we learned from all of them. The greatest takeaway was that we don’t have to agree about everything or do things the same way to enjoy and glean wisdom from one another. As our girls develop relationships with others in the church and beyond, I hope they will continue to value the insights of those who see the world differently from them. 

7. Music can bring us together

While touring the Rock & Soul Museum in Memphis, TN, we learned about the birth of this musical genre. In an era in which the gap was great between parents and children, music drove them apart, as parents demonstrated contempt for young people’s taste in music. Mindful of building bridges with our girls, we listened to countless hours of their favourite artists. In the process, we developed a sincere appreciation for them.

                 At the Rock & Soul Museum

8. “It’s Your First Time on Earth, Too”

Case in point is a new release by Alex Warren. I’m told he wrote this song for his mom. With age, he came to the realization that she tried her best to raise him with the resources she had. The lyrics spoke to me far beyond the mother/child relationship. They reminded me that we are often quick to judge the ones we love when they’re human just like us. Life is hard, and empathy goes a long way to build bridges of understanding. This simple truth came to mind often on this trip and helped me give grace to those around me.