A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31 (Updated) Silent and Subservient or Strong and Courageous?

 This updated article was first published in Spanish at The Gospel Coalition blog in Spanish and in French at TPSG. It was then published in the book "Hors contexte" about 17 popular verses commonly taken out of context.

From the earliest days of my Christian life, I was taught that Proverbs 31 was the quintessential text every godly girl was to aspire to. Countless books have been written on this portion of Scripture, as if were a blueprint for the ideal woman of God. How would I ever live up to such a standard? As a young woman, the pressure to conform to her image was at times crushing. While studying Hebrew in Israel during my years in seminary, I even purchased a beautiful necklace with a charm engraved with the words eshet chayil, Hebrew for virtuous woman. But if anyone asked about it, I offered the caveat, "It's not a title I claim but a goal I'm pursuing."

Since that time, six simple truths regarding this passage of Scripture have given me a measure of peace and perspective, which I considered worth passing on:

1. In Jewish tradition, Proverbs 31 was esteemed not as a model for young women to aspire to so much as one for young men to pursue in a life partner. When drawn to charm and beauty in a maiden, gentlemen were instead to set their eyes on a candidate who feared the LORD, just like Lemuel's mama taught him to (Pr. 31:1). Boys were encouraged to memorize this portion of Scripture, not girls.

2. The Hebrew term chayil, translated virtuous in Proverbs 31, is the same term translated elsewhere as valiant or mighty in reference to the ish gibbor chayil, the men of David’s army. And while most English translations retain the term virtuous, excellent, or noble, the Jewish Publication Society translation renders the term in Proverbs 31 woman of valour to match its male counterpart men of valor. Moreover, her description contains further military language. When the text states in v. 11 that “[her husband] has no lack of gain,” the Hebrew word means plunder, suggesting that “the woman is like a warrior bringing home booty from her victories.”[1] And v. 17 depicts the woman as “girding her loins with strength.” This description points to heroic and difficult action,[2] with its New Testament parallel found in Ephesians 6.14 in reference to the armour of God. So, while we don’t often think of a godly woman as a mighty warrior, the meaning of chayil gives us every reason to see the woman of Proverbs 31 as strong and courageous, someone to be reckoned with!

3. In the Hebrew Bible, the books of the Old Testament are arranged in a different canonical order. The book of Ruth immediately follows the book of Proverbs. In it, Ruth embodies the kind of woman that King Lemuel tells his son to seek at the end of Proverbs. In fact, upon seeing her faithfulness to her mother-in-law Naomi and to the LORD, Boaz calls Ruth an eshet chayil. Yet what is remarkable about this title is that at the time in which such an honour is bestowed upon her, Ruth is neither a wife nor a mother – which is the epitome of godly femininity enshrined in much of evangelical church culture today. Moreover, she is not a wealthy landowner with a household full of servants to oversee (like the Proverbs 31 woman). She is a widow and a foreigner on the margins of society. The text highlights Ruth’s bravery in accompanying Naomi on a perilous journey to a foreign land without the protection of a man. It also shows how she embodied loyal love by selflessly caring for her bereaved mother-in-law. Single, married, childless, widowed, divorced – none are beyond the merit of such a title. This realization certainly enlarged my view of what an ideal woman of God is to look like.

4. Proverbs as a literary genre is not to be taken literally. No literal Proverbs 31 woman exists. Anywhere. Sure, women are wise to study Proverbs 31, but it was never intended to be a rod by which a woman self-flagellates for not meeting its apparent demands. Because hers is an impossible standard that is presented poetically to inspire, not literally to intimidate. After all, Solomon wrote a large portion of the book of Proverbs while stumbling in the very ways he exhorted his son to stand firm. Solomon exhorted his son to be enraptured with the wife of his youth (Pr. 5:18), yet he failed as a husband by multiplying for himself both wives and concubines (1 Kg. 11:3). Solomon gave his son instructions on wise living, yet by bearing children with pagan women and going after foreign gods, he failed as a father as well (1 Kg. 11:1-12). And Solomon instructed his son on how to be a wise king (Pr. 16:12-15), yet because of his foolish choices, the LORD caused his enemies to conspire against him (1 Kg. 11:14-40). Nevertheless, if Solomon’s own frailty was no obstacle to writing words of wisdom for the people of God throughout the ages, then our own should be no obstacle to appreciating Proverbs 31 in its proper context. This reality doesn't make its words any less true, but it does put them into perspective.

5. Moreover, the literary context of the book is that of a father advising his son on the two ways of life, the way of the wise and the way of the fool. Wisdom and foolishness are personified by two Ladies: Lady Wisdom (1:20-4:9, 8:1-9:12) and Lady Foolishness (5:1-7:27, 9:13-18). When we arrive at its conclusion, we see in Proverbs 31 that Lady Wisdom gets the last word - the book of Proverbs retains its use of the woman to personify wisdom. Proverbs 31 is therefore one final, female, poetic description of Lady Wisdom, which both men and women are to seek equally.[3]

6. Proverbs 31 does not show us a singular static image of lady wisdom. Rather, it offers snapshots of the chronology of her growth over a lifetime. Here's how I've come to understand it:

• vv. 10-12 - Introduction: Resumé of the virtuous woman
  
• vv. 13-14 - Her life before kids: She is a successful merchant who travels, bringing her food from afar food from afar.
• vv. 15-23 - Her life as a mom: She wakes while it is still dark and the cares of her family and the poor occupy the bulk of her time.and the poor occupy the bulk of her time.
• vv. 24-27 - Her life as an empty nester: She returns to her former occupation as a successful merchant.
• vv. 28-30 - Conclusion: Eulogy of the virtuous woman. 

 What a joy to know that our measuring rod is Christ, not the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31.  She may not have been real, but Jesus is. And we have four accounts of his life as a model, not one section of one chapter of Proverbs. Let's aim higher, sweet sisters, and fix our eyes on our Saviour, and seek to be conformed to his image and no other.[4]

[1] Van Leeuwen, Raymond C. “The Book of Proverbs,” New Interpreter’s Bible, vol. 5 (Nashville: Abingdon Press), 1997, pp. 261-3.
[2] Waltke, Bruce K. “The Book of Proverbs,” (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 2005), 516, 526.
[3] http://kingdomkompilations.com/general-theology/a-biblical-view-of-women-dispelling-the-myths/
[4] I am indebted to Monique Saulnier, the director of women's ministries of the Fellowship of Evangelical Baptist Churches of Quebec, for these insights, derived from a course she taught.